Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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