omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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