You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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