Already got asked if we're dating
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize