You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize