i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
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She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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