You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize