You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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