hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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