Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize