..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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