Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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