haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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