if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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