Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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