Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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