Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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