and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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