guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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