That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize