Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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