Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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