well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
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She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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