I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The air taste purple.
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