My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize