y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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