I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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