I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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