please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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