battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize