I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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