xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize