ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
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Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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