I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize