Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize