I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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