did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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