Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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