somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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