Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize