Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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