you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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