Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize