My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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