Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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