It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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