I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Apparently you make a good broom.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize