So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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