i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize