...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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